Columbia House and Going Green

From: One of Greatest.GoogleStalk.Name.Ever's employees
To: Me, Greatest.GoogleStalk.Name.Ever and others
Date: 8/16/11

I've shared Columbia House

Click to open: Columbia House

Google Docs makes it easy to create, store and share online documents, spreadsheets and presentations.

From: Me
To: One of Greatest.GoogleStalk.Name.Ever's employees, Greatest.GoogleStalk.Name.Ever and others
Date: 8/16/11

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about green construction and what it really means to me. I love the idea of using renewable resources, shrinking our carbon footprint and all things sustainable. On the other hand, I think about consumerism and what it means to me. I love cars, styrofoam cups and all things wasteful. Just the mention of Columbia House and I have flashbacks to my childhood when my mom let me sign up for 5 free tapes as long as I remained a member for a year. I remember forgetting to return that postcard saying that I didn't want the selection of the month and paying $18 for Rick Astley's Whenever You Need Somebody. Let's not forget how much I loved dancing to Caribbean Queen in my dad's basement with my jam box on my shoulder. I mean, you guys, don't you remember? How about Pebbles? Remember that song "Mercedes Boy" and how much it made you want a Mercedes so you could tell a boy that if he wants to ride in it with you, there were so many things that you were gonna do to him? And then...oh my god...and then... PRINCE. My mom heard like one verse of Darling Nikki and the next thing you know, Purple Rain was in the compactor. I was putting tape over the tabs on Whenever You Need Somebody and using my friends dual tape deck to overdub Prince on that shit so my sister and I would still have I Would Die 4 U and When Doves Cry. Right? Wow. I guess what I'm saying is that I have no idea who you people are. While I think it is cool that one of you is apparently a somebody in the Baltimore scene according to Google, I live in Atlanta. I'm thinking that your Kimberly Henderson has a different email address.


From: Greatest.GoogleStalk.Name.Ever
To: Me
Date: 8/16/11

OK - this was fantastic.

Sorry about that. One of my employees..
1. is not so savvy on the interwebs,
2. does not understand some tasks, and
3. doesn't feel the need to check the name and email address.

I'm glad Google thinks I'm somebody in the Baltimore scene; it might be the only one.

Thanks for the correction, and I'm sorry to have bothered you. I'm pretty sure you have a future (or present - i couldn't successfully cyber-stalk you) in comedy writing. Your awesome references tell me we are roughly the same age.

Enjoy your styrofoam and look us up if you get to Baltimore